Is it almost August already? Crikey.
So, I have been much out of the blogging habit of late and need to stimulate my brain a little, so I'll share with you some random thoughts I've had of late and see if anything interesting comes of it. Don't bet on it, but you never know.
Heading to Myrtle Beach tomorrow for a prisoner exchange and making the most of it. My precious niece, Beth, is coming to visit and rather than driving to Southport and back, we're meeting her in Myrtle Beach, which is about halfway. Millie (her momma) and Hope Marie (my little niece) are bringing her there and meeting us at Hard Rock Park. The kids will have a great time, Jimmy and I will get to play some, and we'll save enough in gas money to pay for our tickets - well, not quite, but close! I am looking really forward to the whole hot, sweaty, waiting in line experience of it all. I am hoping Tina will come (my other sister) as it is her birthday tomorrow, and because I want the kids to have some time with her. She probably won't, but hey...
So Beth is coming because we haven't had any time together this summer and the last time we were together was for Pokey's funeral. She always counts on me to take her shopping for bras (sorry, Bink, but it's true) and school clothes. I count on her for some good hugs and entertainment. This time I'm counting on her for childcare - my hysterectomy is Wednesday, and she'll be taking care of Austin and me both during the day while Jimmy's at work. I told her I'd pay her whatever she makes as a barista - I could be out a bit more than planned, since she just got a raise. Anyway, we'll have the amusement park tomorrow, some house time Sunday, and we'll go to Charleston to deliver Kori to Nana's for a week or so and to hit the Tanger Outlets on Monday. I have school stuff and a doctor's appt. on Tuesday, then we'll chill Tuesday night.
Yeah, I said I was having a hysterectomy Wednesday, which most of you readers already know. It's really overdue, and I am looking forward to it in a sick way, as the recovery time will afford me a perfectly good opportunity and excuse for resting. I know the start of the school year will be tiring and we'll all be adjusting to new responsibilities and schedules, so it will be lovely to have to force myself to be still a while beforehand. Well, all that and no more periods from hell. These are good things.
And school starts in just a couple of weeks! I love that I have the enthusiasm of a new teacher, the experience of motherhood and previous teaching, and the comfort of a familiar setting. My room is pretty well organized for now - seriously empty compared to what it will look like by the end of the year and in years to come. I still have tons of planning to do and plenty of reading stored up for my recovery time, and I'd love to think of some clever decorations to include in my room, but I am trying to keep it simple for a while, as I know it will get busy beyond belief soon.
I have some awesome geekin' friends and coworkers, by the way, and I love talking shop with them - we're too busy thinking and planning and discussing that we don't have time or inclination to piss and moan and whine - not that we have much to whine about at our school, for that matter, but the atmosphere of this group of ladies I'm connecting with is one of mutual support and courage and optimism and idealism. Ahhhhh.
Sunday will probably be a day of attacking the playroom and garage - I'd love to have those areas in functional order before I am "down" and before school gets fired up. We have many new routines to establish - well, they're actually old habits we need to bring back that we've never really given much effort to doing since moving here for one reason or another. I love it when our house is tidyish and cleanish and when we don't feel pressured to work at getting it that way because we've done a little here and a little there.
Ok, much to do, as always. Just needed a little procrastination break, I guess, and to feel like I'm still a blogger. Take care, friends.
Friday, July 25, 2008
Thursday, July 3, 2008
Bless the Beasts and the Children
When I was a kid, our little tiny choir sang a Carpenters song with the same title. Went a little something like this (thank you internet!)
It's been playing in my head all evening. (I hate it when that happens!) I need to think through this to see if i can figure out why this song is stuck on repeat in my mental i-pod. Stick with me. It might end up making sense to us both at the same time.
So, my Casey dog is a blessing to me. Such a beautiful puppy, despite her continuing need to find miscellany in the yard and bring it to our back door and shred it to smithereens. She is still snuggle-icious and is proving to be a great companion for the boy, in particular. Her utter dependence on us for love and care is, well, satisfying. Maybe that's where the "bless the beasts" thought came from.
In other random news, I continue to be surrounded and dumbfounded by loss. My neighbors, whose last pregnancy ended in second trimester miscarriage, have just had to make a terribly difficult decision. She is again pregnant, this time much further along, and their second trimester ultrasound and screenings revealed chromosomal and physiological issues that had complicated the fetus's development. They were given very little hope that the pregnancy would come to term or that the certain-to-be-very-premature baby would ever have any chance of living for more than a few brief moments before being whisked to neuro- and gastrological surgeries, only to face almost certain lifelong (albeit brief) life support. They opted, after much prayer and consultation with their physicians, to terminate the pregnancy. This had to have been an immensely difficult decision for them, or any parents, to have faced, and I hurt deeply for both their loss and their sense of responsibility in it.
Before I even had a chance to fully comprehend this neighbor's plight, more bad news came. My dear friend and neighbor who is "barely pregnant" went for her 8 week ultrasound today, as she, too, is high risk for miscarriage, having had one earlier this year. She and her husband were giddy with excitement today, certain that they would leave the office having heard a heartbeat, having seen a "peanut," having a photo of their precious gift-to-be. Alas. (I know I use that word flippantly, but here I say it with all the angst and hurt I can possibly suppress on their behalf.) It appears she has experienced a "blighted ovum" (google it later, if you think you can stand it) in which a placenta develops, but there is no embryo. Her body just hasn't figured out yet that there is no baby in the sac. Eventually, the body will recognize this and expel the placenta, but it could be days or weeks, or God forbid, longer before the endometrium flushes. Per her doctor's advice and in accordance with her own best logic and emotion, she will be taking matters into her own hands and having a D&C tomorrow. Bless them.
I really struggle with finding the good news, here. I am such a silver-lining, make-it-okay, hold-on-to-what-you-can kind of gal, but this is a mess. I hurt because of the true love both of these families have allowed themselves to feel for these unborn babies, and for the horrible, medicinal endings they both have to endure. I know how real the loss feels, no matter how "developed" the fetus is, and that it is something you have the right to carry with you forever. Granted, I know that our bodies are miraculously aware of how to grow a baby, and when not to continue to grow one. I am certain that it is the right of each of these couples to decide to help nature out and help themselves in the process. I am absolutely grateful for the fact that I never was faced with the decision the first couple had to make and the "what-if-the-doctors-are-wrong" feeling both couples had to grapple with in their decision making. I believe that we only have as much drama and trauma in our lives as we perceive and certainly no more than we can handle, but damn. It just makes some stupid hamburgers and fireworks all the more ridiculous seeming when you know how much hurt people you adore are feeling.
So, I guess that brings me back to the song. We all know to protect the animals and the children, the weak and the downtrodden, because they can't do it for themselves. But do we know how to bless our friends and neighbors and families? Do we always recognize how and when they need shelter from the storm? Do we make every effort to keep them safe and warm? I know I don't. I like to think I do, but I can barely take care of my own some days.
I suppose I'll end this ramble with a prayer request for the peace of mind and spirit my neighbors (both sets) need. Pray that I may help light their way when the darkness surrounds them, as the song suggests. Pray that we may all give each other love and let it shine all around us.
Amen.
Bless the beasts and the children
For in this world they have no voice
They have no choice
Bless the beasts and the children
For the world can never be
The world they see
Light their way
When the darkness surrounds them
Give them love
Let it shine all around them
Bless the beasts and the children
Give them shelter from a storm
Keep them safe
Keep them warm
It's been playing in my head all evening. (I hate it when that happens!) I need to think through this to see if i can figure out why this song is stuck on repeat in my mental i-pod. Stick with me. It might end up making sense to us both at the same time.
So, my Casey dog is a blessing to me. Such a beautiful puppy, despite her continuing need to find miscellany in the yard and bring it to our back door and shred it to smithereens. She is still snuggle-icious and is proving to be a great companion for the boy, in particular. Her utter dependence on us for love and care is, well, satisfying. Maybe that's where the "bless the beasts" thought came from.
In other random news, I continue to be surrounded and dumbfounded by loss. My neighbors, whose last pregnancy ended in second trimester miscarriage, have just had to make a terribly difficult decision. She is again pregnant, this time much further along, and their second trimester ultrasound and screenings revealed chromosomal and physiological issues that had complicated the fetus's development. They were given very little hope that the pregnancy would come to term or that the certain-to-be-very-premature baby would ever have any chance of living for more than a few brief moments before being whisked to neuro- and gastrological surgeries, only to face almost certain lifelong (albeit brief) life support. They opted, after much prayer and consultation with their physicians, to terminate the pregnancy. This had to have been an immensely difficult decision for them, or any parents, to have faced, and I hurt deeply for both their loss and their sense of responsibility in it.
Before I even had a chance to fully comprehend this neighbor's plight, more bad news came. My dear friend and neighbor who is "barely pregnant" went for her 8 week ultrasound today, as she, too, is high risk for miscarriage, having had one earlier this year. She and her husband were giddy with excitement today, certain that they would leave the office having heard a heartbeat, having seen a "peanut," having a photo of their precious gift-to-be. Alas. (I know I use that word flippantly, but here I say it with all the angst and hurt I can possibly suppress on their behalf.) It appears she has experienced a "blighted ovum" (google it later, if you think you can stand it) in which a placenta develops, but there is no embryo. Her body just hasn't figured out yet that there is no baby in the sac. Eventually, the body will recognize this and expel the placenta, but it could be days or weeks, or God forbid, longer before the endometrium flushes. Per her doctor's advice and in accordance with her own best logic and emotion, she will be taking matters into her own hands and having a D&C tomorrow. Bless them.
I really struggle with finding the good news, here. I am such a silver-lining, make-it-okay, hold-on-to-what-you-can kind of gal, but this is a mess. I hurt because of the true love both of these families have allowed themselves to feel for these unborn babies, and for the horrible, medicinal endings they both have to endure. I know how real the loss feels, no matter how "developed" the fetus is, and that it is something you have the right to carry with you forever. Granted, I know that our bodies are miraculously aware of how to grow a baby, and when not to continue to grow one. I am certain that it is the right of each of these couples to decide to help nature out and help themselves in the process. I am absolutely grateful for the fact that I never was faced with the decision the first couple had to make and the "what-if-the-doctors-are-wrong" feeling both couples had to grapple with in their decision making. I believe that we only have as much drama and trauma in our lives as we perceive and certainly no more than we can handle, but damn. It just makes some stupid hamburgers and fireworks all the more ridiculous seeming when you know how much hurt people you adore are feeling.
So, I guess that brings me back to the song. We all know to protect the animals and the children, the weak and the downtrodden, because they can't do it for themselves. But do we know how to bless our friends and neighbors and families? Do we always recognize how and when they need shelter from the storm? Do we make every effort to keep them safe and warm? I know I don't. I like to think I do, but I can barely take care of my own some days.
I suppose I'll end this ramble with a prayer request for the peace of mind and spirit my neighbors (both sets) need. Pray that I may help light their way when the darkness surrounds them, as the song suggests. Pray that we may all give each other love and let it shine all around us.
Amen.
Saturday, June 28, 2008
Waste, waste, waste
One day a while back, Austin asked me what we could do to be more "green." We talked about the things we already do - recycle, compost, reusable grocery bags, and such - and we talked about the things we might do better - take the trip to the dump to recycle glass instead of throwing it away, be more aware of turning the lights off, and reduce our CO2 imprint by driving around less. Good start to a conversation we all need to continue.
The hard part of the conversation we have yet to have and very much need to is this: We are SOOOOO wasteful. Our family, our neighborhood, our society - all wasters of resources. This whacked me on the head yesterday when I took the kids to see Wall-E.
Truly, go see this movie. It is beautiful animation and a precious love story, but more than that, it is profoundly disturbing. Wall-E is a little robot who was created for the sole purpose of making bricks out of trash and stacking it neatly. There is very little dialogue in the beginning of the movie - a silence that forces and allows the viewer to think. A company named Buy-N-Large runs the world, and our nasty consumerism is presented in a humorous way that takes the edge off of the viewers discomfort, but does not eliminate the oh-my-word-we-are-so-wasteful feeling that lingers in your throat.
As disturbing as it is from an environmental perspective, it also is from a political viewpoint. Adults of conscience will not be able to walk away from this film without pangs of guilt about the urgent need for our government to crack down on the filth created by our consumerism. It opens your eyes to how techno-centric we have become, how obsessed with our stuff we are, how oblivious we are to the waste we participate in daily. Ugh.
But really, the movie is appropriate for children! I am not sure they sense the total discomfort adults do, but it is a great conversation starter about going green.
My revelation? I am a waster. I like to think I am one who is constantly looking for a way to reuse refuse, to conserve energy, to love our planet, but I am a LONG way from it. All of us who live in a nice little house in a nice little neighborhood and who have tv's and cell phones and gaming systems and cars and all those "necessities" - we are wasters. We have moved so far away from NEED and so far into WANT that we are largely unable to tell the difference. I NEED a cell phone. I NEED a book. I NEED 100 channels. I NEED a van. Heck, I don't need any of that stuff, but I am able to convince myself that I do.
I can't even keep my house clean because of all the stuff we have - stuff we REALLY feel like we MUST have for comfort or happiness or whatever excuse. I am typing on one of four computers in my house, and next year, we'll have five. Really - more computers than people. But we think we NEED them.
And the really sad thing? Relative to so many people, we have so little! We live in a world where we are unable and unwilling to see how much MORE we have than the majority of the world and we only see what we still DON'T HAVE. I'm ashamed.
So, I want to think that I might keep this concept of waste in the forefront - that I might consider waste with all I do. Whether it is the water I don't need to use, the temperature on the A/C, the fuel in my car, the food in my refrigerator, or the possessions I buy - I need to ask myself, "Is the amount of waste this product or activity generates worth it?" Sadly, I know that I will often continue to make bad choices because I am a selfish little thing, but I hope I can heighten my own awareness so that those bad choices will become progressively fewer.
I think I'll talk about this more another time, because I am feeling rotten about sitting here doing "nothing" when I could be up working on something that will make a positive difference in my children's world. Maybe I 'll start the conversation about our wastefulness and greed while encouraging them to eliminate some of the JUNK we have accumulated. To goodwill, of course - not to the trash! :)
The hard part of the conversation we have yet to have and very much need to is this: We are SOOOOO wasteful. Our family, our neighborhood, our society - all wasters of resources. This whacked me on the head yesterday when I took the kids to see Wall-E.
Truly, go see this movie. It is beautiful animation and a precious love story, but more than that, it is profoundly disturbing. Wall-E is a little robot who was created for the sole purpose of making bricks out of trash and stacking it neatly. There is very little dialogue in the beginning of the movie - a silence that forces and allows the viewer to think. A company named Buy-N-Large runs the world, and our nasty consumerism is presented in a humorous way that takes the edge off of the viewers discomfort, but does not eliminate the oh-my-word-we-are-so-wasteful feeling that lingers in your throat.
As disturbing as it is from an environmental perspective, it also is from a political viewpoint. Adults of conscience will not be able to walk away from this film without pangs of guilt about the urgent need for our government to crack down on the filth created by our consumerism. It opens your eyes to how techno-centric we have become, how obsessed with our stuff we are, how oblivious we are to the waste we participate in daily. Ugh.
But really, the movie is appropriate for children! I am not sure they sense the total discomfort adults do, but it is a great conversation starter about going green.
My revelation? I am a waster. I like to think I am one who is constantly looking for a way to reuse refuse, to conserve energy, to love our planet, but I am a LONG way from it. All of us who live in a nice little house in a nice little neighborhood and who have tv's and cell phones and gaming systems and cars and all those "necessities" - we are wasters. We have moved so far away from NEED and so far into WANT that we are largely unable to tell the difference. I NEED a cell phone. I NEED a book. I NEED 100 channels. I NEED a van. Heck, I don't need any of that stuff, but I am able to convince myself that I do.
I can't even keep my house clean because of all the stuff we have - stuff we REALLY feel like we MUST have for comfort or happiness or whatever excuse. I am typing on one of four computers in my house, and next year, we'll have five. Really - more computers than people. But we think we NEED them.
And the really sad thing? Relative to so many people, we have so little! We live in a world where we are unable and unwilling to see how much MORE we have than the majority of the world and we only see what we still DON'T HAVE. I'm ashamed.
So, I want to think that I might keep this concept of waste in the forefront - that I might consider waste with all I do. Whether it is the water I don't need to use, the temperature on the A/C, the fuel in my car, the food in my refrigerator, or the possessions I buy - I need to ask myself, "Is the amount of waste this product or activity generates worth it?" Sadly, I know that I will often continue to make bad choices because I am a selfish little thing, but I hope I can heighten my own awareness so that those bad choices will become progressively fewer.
I think I'll talk about this more another time, because I am feeling rotten about sitting here doing "nothing" when I could be up working on something that will make a positive difference in my children's world. Maybe I 'll start the conversation about our wastefulness and greed while encouraging them to eliminate some of the JUNK we have accumulated. To goodwill, of course - not to the trash! :)
Sunday, June 8, 2008
RIP Estherjen
Really, seriously, how much more loss can a girl experience before she reaches her limit?
Okay, I shouldn't have asked that, because that's like poking God or Karma or Fate or whatever and saying, "Bring it on!" So, allow me to rephrase that.
I am becoming too good at goodbye.
This morning, my beloved husband and I took our "firstborn" to the emergency veterinary clinic to say goodbye to her. Ugh. Another ouchy day for Meesh.
But I skipped to the end. Allow me to reminisce.
Jimmy and I started our marriage almost fifteen years ago. He was working nights and weekends at WLOS in Asheville. I was all alone in a one bedroom apartment most of the time that first summer, living on his schedule, looking for work, and being all-in-all giddy in love with him and with marriage and with the mountains. But I wanted a BABY, because I had just spent the year prior living on Memory Lane (literally) with my precious Bink, then 4 years old, and I wanted wanted wanted to be a MOMMA.
Needless to say, we as newlyweds with virtually no income and 22 whopping years of age under our belts did not have any business being parents. By the time September came around, we had decided that a puppy was in order.
SO, for Jimmy's birthday we went to the shelter and picked out our new love - a "cocker-terrier mix" from a litter that had just come to the shelter. I picked out one and he picked out one and I succumbed to his choice since it was going to be his birthday present. To hear Jimmy tell it to E-dog for lo these many years, "Momma didn't want you. She wanted that other puppy."
All that first night after we had picked her and before we could take her home (she had to get spayed before she could go with us), we lay awake thinking up the perfect name. And did we ever find it.
Estherjen. Our primary method of birth control, since she alleviated my desire to have babies.
We picked up our sweet Esther and fell so in love with her. The first weekend we had her, Jim's folks came up and we all went gallivanting about the mountains in their Blazer with Esther in the way back. Sunday morning, she started to vomit and have diarrhea, which ended up being all bloody - a "mother's" worst nightmare. Jimmy was working that evening and I was all alone with my new puppy and mortified.
Okay, I shouldn't have asked that, because that's like poking God or Karma or Fate or whatever and saying, "Bring it on!" So, allow me to rephrase that.
I am becoming too good at goodbye.
This morning, my beloved husband and I took our "firstborn" to the emergency veterinary clinic to say goodbye to her. Ugh. Another ouchy day for Meesh.
But I skipped to the end. Allow me to reminisce.
Jimmy and I started our marriage almost fifteen years ago. He was working nights and weekends at WLOS in Asheville. I was all alone in a one bedroom apartment most of the time that first summer, living on his schedule, looking for work, and being all-in-all giddy in love with him and with marriage and with the mountains. But I wanted a BABY, because I had just spent the year prior living on Memory Lane (literally) with my precious Bink, then 4 years old, and I wanted wanted wanted to be a MOMMA.
Needless to say, we as newlyweds with virtually no income and 22 whopping years of age under our belts did not have any business being parents. By the time September came around, we had decided that a puppy was in order.
SO, for Jimmy's birthday we went to the shelter and picked out our new love - a "cocker-terrier mix" from a litter that had just come to the shelter. I picked out one and he picked out one and I succumbed to his choice since it was going to be his birthday present. To hear Jimmy tell it to E-dog for lo these many years, "Momma didn't want you. She wanted that other puppy."
All that first night after we had picked her and before we could take her home (she had to get spayed before she could go with us), we lay awake thinking up the perfect name. And did we ever find it.
Estherjen. Our primary method of birth control, since she alleviated my desire to have babies.
We picked up our sweet Esther and fell so in love with her. The first weekend we had her, Jim's folks came up and we all went gallivanting about the mountains in their Blazer with Esther in the way back. Sunday morning, she started to vomit and have diarrhea, which ended up being all bloody - a "mother's" worst nightmare. Jimmy was working that evening and I was all alone with my new puppy and mortified.
So, off to the emergency clinic we went - Monday hadn't even come for us to call the vet and make our hey-this-is-Esther appointment. It was just horrible. They poked her and I.V.'ed her and said they were going to need to keep her overnight for observation since she was maybe, MAYBE 8 weeks old and only a few days post-op from her spay. I was devastated. I cried and cried and they soothed and soothed, but I had already grown so attached to this wee one. The classic memory from that experience? I didn't want to leave her and have her think we had taken her back somewhere awful and that we weren't coming back for her. I wanted her to know I loved her and to have my smell with her for comfort (like they do with babies, you know?). So I said, no, SOBBED to the nice people, who by now thought I was completely looney toons, "Can I leave her my socks?" (Jimmy does a great impersonation of this although HE wasn't there to hear it nor to feel how awful and helpless I felt.)
Needless to say, she was fine and dandy the next day and came home ever so grateful and ready to learn to poop outside or whatever it would take to keep her from that place.
She became an appendage to me - she kept me company every day after school until "Daddy" got home at midnight and every weekend, she and I would "go-go car-ride" around the greater Asheville metro to find our future home. We would sneak naps on the couch (where Jimmy said she wasn't allowed) and we would take dinner to Jimmy and eat on the porch at WLOS, overlooking the Smokies. She came with me to work on teacher workdays and went hiking and camping and everything else-ing with us. At holiday time, she joined us on trips to our parents' homes, just as if she were one of the grandchildren.
And today it ended much like it had begun. We knew during the night that it was time. The tumor in her rear thigh had grown so large (like three to four times the size of her other leg) that she finally became lame as a result of it. It didn't appear to hurt her, but she was uncomfortable and confused and struggling to stand - walking was not even possible. We could have opted to explore amputation, but we had long ago decided that would not be fair treatment for a dog of her age and superior nature. She'd lost so much weight lately and could barely hear anything, if at all. I honestly can't remember the last time I heard her bark or do anything vocal besides moan. Her vision was questionable, her periods of dementia more frequent... Yeah, it was time.
We held her in our bed all night - the incontinence miraculously stopped some months ago, probably due to the increase in the size of the tumor - and we talked to her and loved on her and cried over her. Little sleep, but much needed snuggling to last the rest of our lives without her.
She knew. Just like Abby knew. There was a sense of calm in her as we went into the clinic. Even before they gave her the IV and the sedative shot, she was still and peaceful and Oh-So-Brave. Like always, she could sense our feelings and knew that we were terribly saddened. But she did not work to give us comfort as she had on so many occasions. She let it be about her, for once, and accepted our love as if she, too, knew that she needed to store it up.
Oh.
This has become quite a long post.
I want to share with you all the stories of a good dog's life, the memories that are part of our history and will always be a part of our future. So, if you are done reading the lamentations over a dead dog, feel free to click off now. But if you love or have loved a dog, I think you'll read on.
Esther, the pup-pup, the E-dog - I remember...
...hiking and watching you fall in the creek and Hammer (daddy's friend you adored) stepping into the water up to his knee to grab you out, then freezing as we finished the hike and the fall air dried out his wet pants leg.
...doggy obedience class - you were so smart and you were so good at "down" although you never got the hang of much beyond that. Not bad for the only mutt among a bunch of schmancy purebreds...
...Grandma swearing she wouldn't feed you from the table and slipping you hush puppies and beef fat with NO discretion. She also trimmed your eyebrows when they got all bushy so she could see your precious eyes and face.
...the day we brought home Abby and you showed us what they meant in obedience class by "dominance." You were patient with her and herded her and did ALL the training for us. True, you pissed on the futon on purpose that once to let us know of your displeasure.
...the day we brought home Austin and the way you lovingly smelled him and claimed the place under his crib as your own. We had played "Where's Austin?" so much before he was born that you were glad to finally put a name with a face.
...the day we brought home Kori and you told us that was just darn enough children. Boy, were you right.
...the Christmas break you and Abby escaped (one of us had inadvertently left the fence open). Some stranger in the next neighborhood over called us and left a message that they had Abby, but no one knew where you were. I envisioned you dead on the side of US74, and my daddy and your daddy left Southport for a 7 hour trip home to find you. We got the call before they had gone too far that you were in the basement in your crate, pretty scared and clearly worried about your sister.
...throwing racquetballs for you to fetch until you decided it was time to just lie around and chew on them.
...your little stuffed lion that was the most difficult thing I ever threw away.
...when you ate the flea collar and vomited the buckle. That's when we realized you were actually part goat.
...when you got into the bathroom trash and we learned to keep the trash under the sink.
...so many chewed up diapers. Ugh. And yet, we still let you kiss us!
...when less-than-a-year-old Kori put her hand in your food bowl at precisely the moment you decided to eat - you warned her but good and you scared the crap out of her, me and yourself. I will never understand how dogs know just how much to squeeze with their teeth to teach a lesson but to not puncture the skin.
...you chasing those damned hissing ducks into the pond and me yelling at your daddy because he didn't LOOK willing to jump in and save you. You could hear us yelling at you, but they looked so tasty and you were closer than you ever got to any squirrel. You finally realized that you couldn't swim nearly as well as you thought and headed back to shore. Stupid mutt.
...the traffic ticket incidents - one for dad on the highway and one for me in Irmo. You got me out of mine, but the state trooper wasn't nearly as sympathetic to your hysterical barking in the middle of the night in the middle of nowhere.
...the way you looked up at the overpasses as we drove under them in the pouring rain.
...your patient love and diligent protection for my babies and me.
...the way you felt the first time I held you.
...the way you felt the last time I held you.
...your love and gratitude and relative obedience.
Rest in peace, my sweet pup-pup. You will always be treasured. Kiss your Grandma and Pokey for me, and stay out of the trash.
Get in the box, pup-pup. Go night night.
Friday, June 6, 2008
SUMMER!
Holy moly, it's summer time! The thermometer has been hitting 100 for several days now, so it definitely FEELS like summer, but I have yet to realize that school is really out.
Next week I am starting my master's program in Language and Literacy - WOOHOO! It'll take three years at $300 a month, but I'll end up with an honest-to-goodness degree at the end. SO many great things about it - here's a little list:
1. One of my best good geek friends is the facilitator. DOCTOR Deborah Ann MacPhee will be traveling from the far-off land of Aiken, SC once a week to lead our little group through each of the courses. She is brilliant and fun and a heck of a good instructor, PLUS she will be one of the better-known gurus of professional development in a few short years, so I am especially pleased to be in her tutelage.
2. We will be studying in a cohort model - same fifteen students for every course. Having done my undergraduate major courses in a cohort, as well 12 of my other graduate hours in a cohort model, I am MOST excited. Every course can build on the previous ones, you don't have to get to know the people every single time a new course starts, and the camaraderie formed is such a benefit as you go out in the world to do good works.
3. Classes will be primarily taught at OPES, where I ANTICIPATE working starting next year. Even if I end up working somewhere else, OP is the school closest to my house, so travel time will be limited. Hurray!
4. I am a freaking geekalicious nerd and I can't wait to fill up my brain with more theory, ponder the great thoughts, have excellent convos with peers, and put some of this new knowledge into practice. I am such a firm believer that teachers should ALWAYS be students so that we may fully realize and remember the demands we place on them and how it feels to be in a "little desk."
Needless to say, I am excited.
Other exciting summer plans include two (yes TWO) beach trips - one to the Gulf Shores in two weeks and one to Edisto in July. Feeling fat and unattractive, but getting over it and ready to change some habits so that I don't have to buy any more clothes than I already have. Both trips are weddings - the first is Jimmy's first cousin, Ashley, and the second is another of his first cousins, Matt. We think it's so funny to say that Jimmy's first cousins are getting married, but not to each other. Okay, so we're easily amused. The kids are in both, so there will be many pictures to enjoy.
Kori and Austin are going to an acting camp in July that will culminate in a little show. That will be hysterical. I love those two people (duh) and they always amaze me.
Kori will do her traditional stint at the DFHS cheerleading camp in July - always entertaining - and Austin and I will spend some quality time doing errands or playing Wii while she is away.
Here's some big summer news: Austin can stay at home alone for short periods of time, as long as one of our neighbors is home. Love that. Have to teach him to keep the phone nearby, though - he zones out upstairs and doesn't hear it. Alas.
OH! And I am getting that darn hysterectomy once and for all in July. Fabulous. VERY little recovery time for the kind I'm supposed to have. Love that!
Then there's momma and daddy's estate issues to wrap up, but now that Geno has his little Staph-in-the-heart issue, he won't be going to Korea (or Iraq or any other farflung reaches of the military planet) any time soon, so maybe we can all focus on that together.
So, while I hope to keep up the posting, I make no promises as to my frequency. Much cleaning and playing and reading and relaxing and planning to do... And I am going to scrapbook some, dammit!
Have a great summer!
Next week I am starting my master's program in Language and Literacy - WOOHOO! It'll take three years at $300 a month, but I'll end up with an honest-to-goodness degree at the end. SO many great things about it - here's a little list:
1. One of my best good geek friends is the facilitator. DOCTOR Deborah Ann MacPhee will be traveling from the far-off land of Aiken, SC once a week to lead our little group through each of the courses. She is brilliant and fun and a heck of a good instructor, PLUS she will be one of the better-known gurus of professional development in a few short years, so I am especially pleased to be in her tutelage.
2. We will be studying in a cohort model - same fifteen students for every course. Having done my undergraduate major courses in a cohort, as well 12 of my other graduate hours in a cohort model, I am MOST excited. Every course can build on the previous ones, you don't have to get to know the people every single time a new course starts, and the camaraderie formed is such a benefit as you go out in the world to do good works.
3. Classes will be primarily taught at OPES, where I ANTICIPATE working starting next year. Even if I end up working somewhere else, OP is the school closest to my house, so travel time will be limited. Hurray!
4. I am a freaking geekalicious nerd and I can't wait to fill up my brain with more theory, ponder the great thoughts, have excellent convos with peers, and put some of this new knowledge into practice. I am such a firm believer that teachers should ALWAYS be students so that we may fully realize and remember the demands we place on them and how it feels to be in a "little desk."
Needless to say, I am excited.
Other exciting summer plans include two (yes TWO) beach trips - one to the Gulf Shores in two weeks and one to Edisto in July. Feeling fat and unattractive, but getting over it and ready to change some habits so that I don't have to buy any more clothes than I already have. Both trips are weddings - the first is Jimmy's first cousin, Ashley, and the second is another of his first cousins, Matt. We think it's so funny to say that Jimmy's first cousins are getting married, but not to each other. Okay, so we're easily amused. The kids are in both, so there will be many pictures to enjoy.
Kori and Austin are going to an acting camp in July that will culminate in a little show. That will be hysterical. I love those two people (duh) and they always amaze me.
Kori will do her traditional stint at the DFHS cheerleading camp in July - always entertaining - and Austin and I will spend some quality time doing errands or playing Wii while she is away.
Here's some big summer news: Austin can stay at home alone for short periods of time, as long as one of our neighbors is home. Love that. Have to teach him to keep the phone nearby, though - he zones out upstairs and doesn't hear it. Alas.
OH! And I am getting that darn hysterectomy once and for all in July. Fabulous. VERY little recovery time for the kind I'm supposed to have. Love that!
Then there's momma and daddy's estate issues to wrap up, but now that Geno has his little Staph-in-the-heart issue, he won't be going to Korea (or Iraq or any other farflung reaches of the military planet) any time soon, so maybe we can all focus on that together.
So, while I hope to keep up the posting, I make no promises as to my frequency. Much cleaning and playing and reading and relaxing and planning to do... And I am going to scrapbook some, dammit!
Have a great summer!
Sunday, May 25, 2008
I ask your prayers...
I have a few folks on my mind, which I have always taken as a signal that I need to pray for them. Believing, as I do, that prayer is powerful for whatever reasons from whatever doctrine you subscribe to, I ask you to join me in praying for/thinking of/holding them near to heart. For the sake of anonymity, as I haven't asked these dear ones if I may spread their trials and tribulations about the world wide web, I'll just allude to their identities. Besides, there are probably lots of people out there with these same situations - might as well pray for all of them.
I ask your prayers for...
...my after-dinner-mint friend who wants desperately to have a baby in her womb. This girl is the most fabulous mother and I also yearn to live vicariously through her pregnancy. All the waiting and hoping is taking its toll on her emotions and heart and faith. Pray for her to become a pregnant lady with a remarkably healthy fetus - and soon!
...my biggest-geekest friend who defends her dissertation this week. She is confident and brilliant and lovely, but a little anxious, I believe. Pray for her stamina, wisdom, and loquaciousness. (I may not have a PhD, but I can make up words, too!)
...my gay friend who is struggling with a recent controversy in our school district regarding a Gay/Straight Alliance forming at one of the high schools. Pray that my friend may be the voice of reason in this ridiculous struggle our world has to accept everyone.
...my family. We are starting a long hard summer of settling our parents' estate. Many hard feelings and bitter words could arise. Pray for our unity, our love for each other, and our courage.
...my beloved. He has an opportunity to show how brilliant and talented and managerial he is over the next little while. Pray he feels confident and that his skills are both noticed and appreciated.
...my scrawny friend who needs to be healthy enough to eat the foods that will help her return to her healthiest weight and energy level. Pray that her children will not think of her as being sick, and that they will not need quite as much energy so that she may use that on herself.
...my lonely friend who so deserves to have someone love her the way she loves him. Pray that she will find a companion who shares her respect, love, and wishes for the future.
...my teacher friends who have so much to do in the next two weeks! Pray that the students they teach will appreciate all that has been done for them.
...me. I'll always take whatever prayers you'll throw my way.
I love you people.
I ask your prayers for...
...my after-dinner-mint friend who wants desperately to have a baby in her womb. This girl is the most fabulous mother and I also yearn to live vicariously through her pregnancy. All the waiting and hoping is taking its toll on her emotions and heart and faith. Pray for her to become a pregnant lady with a remarkably healthy fetus - and soon!
...my biggest-geekest friend who defends her dissertation this week. She is confident and brilliant and lovely, but a little anxious, I believe. Pray for her stamina, wisdom, and loquaciousness. (I may not have a PhD, but I can make up words, too!)
...my gay friend who is struggling with a recent controversy in our school district regarding a Gay/Straight Alliance forming at one of the high schools. Pray that my friend may be the voice of reason in this ridiculous struggle our world has to accept everyone.
...my family. We are starting a long hard summer of settling our parents' estate. Many hard feelings and bitter words could arise. Pray for our unity, our love for each other, and our courage.
...my beloved. He has an opportunity to show how brilliant and talented and managerial he is over the next little while. Pray he feels confident and that his skills are both noticed and appreciated.
...my scrawny friend who needs to be healthy enough to eat the foods that will help her return to her healthiest weight and energy level. Pray that her children will not think of her as being sick, and that they will not need quite as much energy so that she may use that on herself.
...my lonely friend who so deserves to have someone love her the way she loves him. Pray that she will find a companion who shares her respect, love, and wishes for the future.
...my teacher friends who have so much to do in the next two weeks! Pray that the students they teach will appreciate all that has been done for them.
...me. I'll always take whatever prayers you'll throw my way.
I love you people.
Friday, May 23, 2008
On HOLD
As I write this, I could be interrupted at any moment and have to pause - I'm on hold. There's a little piano ditty that sounds very Charles Schultz-y coming from the speakerphone in my friend Deb's office. I'm waiting for a nice boy (or girl) at ETS to pick up and tell me my Praxis scores which are available today for the low low price of 30 bucks.
I could wait until next week for my paper scores to arrive for free - but they won't be sent until Tuesday, meaning I won't have them in my grubby little hand until at least Wednesday or Thursday, maybe later. I just don't think I can wait until then.
Crikey. Here they are.
WOOHOO!
Okay, I passed. But let me finish my thoughts about being on hold.
I've been in a holding pattern about employment and life for some time now and I am ready for the metaphorical guy on the other end of the line to pick up the darn phone and answer my life questions! I've tried listening to the Muzak, doodling, and multitasking to pass the time, but I have reached my limit.
So, now that I know - PASS - and that I have hope of my certificate being up and running in a couple of weeks, I am ready to move on. The Hold is almost over. I can almost get on with it.
Phew.
I could wait until next week for my paper scores to arrive for free - but they won't be sent until Tuesday, meaning I won't have them in my grubby little hand until at least Wednesday or Thursday, maybe later. I just don't think I can wait until then.
Crikey. Here they are.
WOOHOO!
Okay, I passed. But let me finish my thoughts about being on hold.
I've been in a holding pattern about employment and life for some time now and I am ready for the metaphorical guy on the other end of the line to pick up the darn phone and answer my life questions! I've tried listening to the Muzak, doodling, and multitasking to pass the time, but I have reached my limit.
So, now that I know - PASS - and that I have hope of my certificate being up and running in a couple of weeks, I am ready to move on. The Hold is almost over. I can almost get on with it.
Phew.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)