Burnout Blog Brushup

Let’s make one thing perfectly clear: the thing I do best in my job is building relationships with kids. I’m also pretty historically good at building relationships with families and colleagues. Everyone in education will tell you how critical this is to success in our field. 

But I also want to make it perfectly clear that maintaining healthy relationships is the hardest thing about our work. How many jobs can you name that fundamentally depend on making each of over 100 clients feel seen, heard, understood, and valued every single day? So much effort goes into carefully monitoring our impact on students’ learning in our content areas, but the depth of impression we make on their very spirits is the one that exhausts us. Or me. I can’t speak for all of us, but I can tell you that my own burnout stems from how much of me is poured out on the daily to simply avoid damaging the little people in my care. 

Last week, lots of notes of gratitude and appreciation came my way from the sweet babies I get to love, and while I do keep a file of those to soften the blow of hard days, I found myself wishing that were enough to sustain me. I’m tired. I’m fragile. Other than choosing rest over exercise, I am caring for myself as well as ever. 

I am coming to understand that I am operating in a deficit of emotional energy to give to a job that requires it in abundance. And to be honest, I don’t like the way I feel when I think about the demands tomorrow will bring. The thought of another 110 tomorrows of being the freaking Giving Tree is overwhelming. The thought of another 10 years or more? Yeah, no. 

So, here I go with this blog again in one final attempt to recognize myself in the mirror and, perhaps, to figure out what might be next for me. Join me here occasionally to be part of the journey or to be a voyeur. Either way, I'm really my own audience, I guess. I welcome your input and companionship.